Back on Track after some Wobbling

Wednesday, July 6th is absolutely beautiful and I am skipping everything other than a short trip to put some things in storage and going straight to see my horse.

The last few days have been a true re-invigoration to our project after I had a whole afternoon of  purging some angst that was a source of tears and feeling overwhelmed. Thankfully, it resulted in both of us hacking and slashing a huge pile of long overdue paperwork that needed to be sorted and shredded. There is still lots of paperwork to be organized but it is less intimidating.

I was able to make contact with my Landlady and while she was sorry to see us go after so many years, she was happy for our recent marriage and us moving on to find our eventual permanent residence.

Sometimes you just need to look at things with an eye for the Reality; accept that  you aren't ready, that you need help, that your plans are affected by others so you can share the weight of the world to be happy.

That is all for now!

The Purge in Object Hell Continues

Today is another lovely day in the Pacific Northwest with the sun a-blaze, school is out and there isn't a kid on the sidewalk anywhere for a few blocks :(

Today I tried to make a YouTube video and was thwarted by a lack of knowledge. I decided to progress with taking apart my desk (which was significant) and move it to the lawn with a FREE sign as the weather is good. Hopefully someone will take it away or it is to the landfill.

I am now faced with a PILE of papers, odds and ends of stupid things like business cards and old buttons I forgot I had collected and am faced with another run to the donation location to get some of this stuff out of my house. Some will have to be assessed as necessary of course, but why did I purchase 500 index cards when a pack of 50 was probably sufficient? Only the Universe knows.

In other matters, the pets are starting to be a bit edgy and I am seriously in need of some mitigation techniques on how to transition them as they are both geriatric, used to a warm comfy world and this upheaval is making them nervous. Will have to address that another time.

Our freezer is almost empty!  It has taken me 2 months to work our way through all the food I had stored there. I have a giant pork roast in the electric roaster for dinners this week which is the last of the significant bulk of the frozen meat. We shall be able to move the freezer or at least turn it off in preparation for transport soon.

I will again try to work on the Vlog thing when I have time. Today may not be the day but I'll get on it soon. Cheers!

Pacific Stove is Cute

Last weekend while talking about needing an off-grid heat, cook, oven we found this little gem for a whopping $125. SCORE!

The Purged Ghosts from Object Hell

Friday and the day of the first donation pick-up from Northwest Center. It doesn't seem like I have done enough, as Object Hell continues to plague me visually and emotionally. I swear that as I uncovered another box of stuff or open a closet, I am overwhelmed by pockets of stagnate thoughts and feelings. Quite depressing to run into these batches of past, stale poecketed vibrations that are no longer valid, no longer viable or Present in the current status of our world.

This must be the conversation that is the basis of Fen Shui. That there should be no pockets of stale gloom or ideals that didn't come to pass. I had an idea of what this was all about and I certainly understood the freedom felt by letting go of clutter  (not that things are uncluttered at this moment) but it certainly was unknown to me what it "feels" like to disturb such latent forces and remove them. I am constantly grumpy, I get sad and overwhelmed.

I forget to eat and yell at the dog and/or cat as they try to comfort me and seem to just be "in the way" at that immediate moment of angst. How can a box of miscellaneous personal care products from 3 locations put me into a tizzy? I have no idea, but it is just as heartbreaking as running into old photos from a deceased parent. I have those too but they are easier to look at than old hair gel.

To get through this, I have found that I really need to go for a walk, or drive to the store, barn, or anywhere else to shake it off.

All in all, it is quantifiable in the large stack of things I have in the driveway and all the boxes I went through to get there including parts of the garage.

sometimes you just need to let go. LET GO and be happy!

Monday's Spring Rains

Ola and good morning!

Today is June 13th and it is Monday, Monday, Monday! Oh so soggy and mild that I am loathe to leave the house as my list of To-Do piles up.

We have made another step towards our final independence only to run smack into a stumbling block that I am perfectly able to cope with - the tent trailer is leaking on the queen bed!  The trailer was hit by a deer at one point, decided to try and jump over the hitch, and some of the outside casing is missing due to this accident before our purchase. We were pretty sure it was going to leak but where exactly it leaks is still a mystery as we only saw the aftermath. It will dry out but it is now raining again. Probably needs to be fixed sooner than later.

Attempting to de-funk the seat cushions is now on my agenda. After some basic research it seems very do-able but it is cold and wet. So, I shall have to wait to get this done when the weather turns warm again.

Expecting to hear from the US Postal Service eventually about the incoming new baby peeps and I hope that we don't have a lot of poorly babies when they arrive.

I have made a list of Vlog topics I want to write/record. Mostly on topics I have unsuccessfully searched myself :)

Wishing you well where you are!

Major Decisions Made

Today is Thursday, June 9th and while the weather is only partly sunny with a nice brisk wind, its' like 67 degrees!

We have completed some very important decision-making milestones and I thought I would report those here.

Solution #1: We will be way-laying being concerned about refrigeration with the use of good coolers and phasing ice throughout during the week. The new 5-day coolers do so much better and our regular coolers can be maintained in a way to minimize spoilage.

Solution #2: Composting toilet is the next priority above refrigeration. I would really like an Air Head as seen here http://airheadtoilet.com/ but a Nature's Head would be as workable. I just like the spring loaded nipple on the water-waste catcher better on the Air Head and you don't have to move any parts to remove it to empty it.

Solution #3: We will be going with a tent not a tiny home or bunkhouse.  After some more thought and research as to the setup of surplus military tents, I have found that if we upgrade to the modern MGPT (Modular General Purpose Tent) in lieu of the General Purpose (GP) Medium Tent (kinda confusing, eh?) that I would be PRETTY SATISFIED with moving to a tent. Some of the reasons are as follows: Steel not Wood poles, ridge poles are steel Y-braces, interior of tent comes white as a standard, cotton liner and rubber flooring which connects 12 inches above ground-level and connects to side walls. Lots of ties and screening for windows comes standard. Exterior vestibule can be purchased separately if needed later.

Solution #4: We have set the deadline to move as July 31st. I will be giving notice to the landlord sometime in the near future to get that ball rolling.

Now that is figured out we can work on the other things no less important, but much more flexible in nature such as, what to do with additional furniture (called the Blue Truck) and the rest.

Hope you are having a great day! Thanks for listening.

My secret blog exposed

I was talking to one of my oldest best friends and realized I was telling the blog more than I had told here. Time to use the blog to inform people and not keep it a secret any longer.

I have a personal aversion to doing diaries, due to the nature of humanity. If you say how you feel privately it will be most likely interpreted however the discoverer decides and that isn't always what is desirable. Mostly, I hate getting flack for feelings or thoughts that may have only lasted a day or an hour.

But this venture has so many interesting aspects that are hard to enumerate in a single sentence a few days later to a person who isn't really interested. So I am blogging and those who run into those things I have problem-solved or found better solutions than I, can commiserate and those that wonder what the heck we are up to, can see for themselves.

Happy Reading!

More Chicks on the way

While driving home from the Move-To site last night, I was so excited to know that the excavation of the existing chicken coop was repairable with only some slight mods, it would be able to house my existing birds well.

Margrate, Olga and Hazel (Black Sex Links from the local Co-op) will be in fine digs with all their new companions soon. And then I contemplated the folly of brooding our new hatchlings in a tent trailer for 6 weeks!

Ah, yes. The pregnant pause of potential Doom was upon me.

When I arrived home, I described this dilemma to my partner.  We unanimously agreed that the scenario was totally undesirable and we should get them ordered ASAP while we are still in a stick home and have reliable power. The force of the internet was applied and in a few weeks we shall have our desired fowl before the weather turns cold before they reach adult-hood. Can you say Shazam?

Bushwacking on June 5th

Another pre-activity post on the Sunday of June 5th.

Today is all about clearing the property to be able to get a dump truck of gravel or soil on theland and get to the items that would deter that progress. There is lots of down logs and other things in the way and several years of overgrowth to contend with.

Looking forward to seeing the guys and providing some awesome lunch for the hard working fellows. Photos to come!

A Generac equates Love of a Good Man

In the saga of moving off grid to our friend's last acre, my husband came home yesterday with his selection of a Wife-Proof generator with built-in power AC/DC inverter so that I can plug things in direct as well as recharge the battery bank now being constructed.

Why is this a show of TRUE LOVE? As he is the working stiff of the partnership and I will be most often on the homestead he has taken some things into consideration.

1. I am visually impaired and reading small print, stupid squiggles and other white-on-grey paint lettering is fruitless and makes me mad. He has chosen something that has dials, a light bar, large readout and easy to see print. Once I've done it a few times, I will know what to look for and where on the machine.
2. I can lift it myself. While not a wimp, I am not apt to haul 150 lbs of steel anywhere without a dolly and a great deal of swearing. This baby is a compact 50 lbs and I can pick it up or drag it anywhere empty. Dolly may be needed for a fully fueled machine.
3. East to fuel and it will tell me to add fuel and oil if needed.
4. It is quiet on the lowest setting and tolerable on the high setting. He was aware I hate white noise and this will drive me batty if we don't address this issue.

Now that we have addressed the pros of the new machine, I'll be sending you some updates later when I actually use it.http://www.lowes.com/pd_759431-24212-6866_1z0x2n5Z1z13shm__?productId=999924976&pl=1

Basic Chores and Short-term fixes

Earlier today I said I was going out to do some wood stacking chores and while chores did get completed my dump run was thwarted by waste management being closed for scale refurbishment.

While I was there, I did take a quick snap of our excellent $100 purchase of a Coleman tent trailer. This was a major solution as to what could be done very quickly to provide us with propane and 12v power including some basic amenities like on-demand sink/shower, heater and general protection from the elements.

Still trying to figure the thing out but its in great condition for its age, has all the major parts intact and it is more solid than a tent for a short-term fix.

   It is starting to get real folks. More packing was completed though I didn't get much moved to the Not In House category. Still need to dump tomorrow then more will be gone.

Good Morning Northwest!

Today it is weirdly one of those days where the sky is overcast, the grass is wet from overnight rain and it is about a moderate temp of 57 degrees. Perfect for having the windows open and just letting the breeze through. Why is that weird? Yesterday it was 68 partly sunny and felt like ti was going to be sweltering, but the rain came in for the evening and it was gloriously mild overnight.

Why does any of that matter? I have a pickup full of wood to unload at the half acre and boxes to move to the storage unit. It's nice to not have the oppression of ambient temperature to pull the motivation down and this project makes me cranky. Let's not add to the crank.

Our home is slowly coming down and when I say down I guess a good analogy would be if you looked at it as a scale of temperature. Our home when fully functional 30 days ago, was 100 degrees is now at 80 degrees. Many things do not function as before. Some due to lack of items, some places due to being packed.

For example, I am hand washing dishes now. No dishwasher. Why? Do you realize how many dishes you can load into a dishwasher? There is no way a single sitting of hand-washing can be complete if you were to do the same amount. To prepare myself for off grid living, I got rid of all the extra cups, glasses, anything beyond a set of 4 in plates and bowls, all the extra mixing bowls and all the random utensils and flatware - gone.

How do I feel about parting with these things. Great! Choosing which to dispose of was harder. I suggest you do as I did and get somebody objective to assist. Play out some parameters and work from there. Boxes provided, I said only stainless, Pyrex bowls had to have lids and only a handfull of Tupperware with lids stay. All else goes.

I have taken 2 car loads to the second-hand store and put many boxes into storage already. More to come with the de-cluttering and cleaning as there is years worth of spiders, Nerf darts and other debris hidden in all places!

It feels great now in my kitchen. Other news later today will be forthcoming. I feel less trapped by my Object Hell, which is the point.

Thanks for reading up on our progress!

Coming back from the frustrated Lows

Today is only one day after mild melt-down and frustration, so you'd think that I'd still be all wired and wound up but I did the correct thing and left home to ride my horse.

To say she is a therapy animal wouldn't be an understatement. Getting out of the home or as I like to call it Object-Hell (a purgatory of stuff), I am dealing with. Conversing with another living being who only senses and communicates in a non-verbal way means I have to stretch myself, be sensitive to her needs and not so much in my own Self. I left the Barn with all my worries in the Port-a-potty and no resentment for going home to do dinner.

The basis of the problem was finding alternate paths as the main one may not be available i.e. move may not happen as planned so alternate #1 and #2 must evolve out of thin air. Now as things have progressed and my calm has now been sustained for a period of 24 hours we have word that the first plan will be put into action as soon as is reasonable.

Big sign and move along.

Expect a lack of Happy

You know you have met a threshold of change when you know that your coping skills have changed.

For instance, We are consolidating. I am getting rid of tons of our jointly-held possessions that have no value or meaning and I am sort of freaking out about the process. Why? I have sent my appliances, such as the coffee pot, electric kettle, juicer, food processor and a ton of clothing, other books and random or duplicate items to Goodwill/SallyAm. Frighteningly I don't miss these things and the line to the junk shop is HUGE. I don't feel alone, just adrift. In my Pre-KrankyPantz year-3 life, I would probably have gone to Portland by now, just to get the hell out of town - if its not a 2.5 hr drive I was too close to the problem, but I cannot just drive away any more. Which BLOWS SO BLOODY HARD I can barely stand it. Instead I am attempting to DEAL with every changing uncertainly with accepting the welling emotions.

I usually call it anxiety and that is what it is, but it comes in so many forms. I get very angry at the ever changing unstable situation. I get resistance if it could cost money or be any more inconvenient. 

May I ask, on who's scale of inconvenience is this little blip to be based on?

I get annoyed when I cannot find the tape gun. I get sad when I look at my home in chaos. I yell at the dog as he follows me around wondering WTF? and the cat gets a boot occasionally just for being in the room. My poor partner isn't getting the awesome in this either as this was his idea as my idea of moving 3 years ago didn't inspire him. Today when things are at the worst in the housing market and his job is taking up all his though and energy, now he thinks its time. 

Not am I not happy? Why the hell should I be?

Actually Beginning to Purge & Pack

May 16 - Day 14 / Since I began the Days of the Great Purge, my husband and I have had a few discussions that have been extremely fruitful.

Decisions on what to keep, what should go into an actual long-term, environmentally controlled storage short-term (after October/November) while we move and get situated has helped my anxiety enormously and the action of writing helps too but I keep tripping and feeling overwhelmed as the animals and I try to get through the living room or any other room for that matter!



Today has been tough as this weekend we had some Real Moments. Now it is very hard to actually move the physical items from place to place.  I have started with the "easy things" like taking things down from shelves and the walls. Blank spots in my mind click the brain into thinking its moving time.



This is only Box 1 of packed books and Box 1 of photos to be put into long term storage. This also gives the house a more disheveled look, which I'm finding is causing me some anxiety too. The dust is exposed and I have lots of small decorative things I'm not sure are going to be here later.



But now I also have found that the soft core items like linens and towels are pretty easy to pack for long term storage using SpaceSaver vacuum bags. These will most likely go into larger boxes for removal later when we are settled or put on a shelf for ease of access and re-storage.



The very first boxes of GoodWill stuff is out on the porch and that will be loaded into the car for drop off tomorrow. It is really hard to look at what we are doing as beneficial using the modern US thing-cultured brain. I don't want to live like that when it means I won't be able to create the life we truly want together.

I shall attempt not to read ahead as I haven't even gotten through the first chapter yet!

Thanks for reading along!

Day #01 - Clothing purge

Day #01 - Purge the clothing!

Today shall be the first day of purging all unneeded or unnecessary clothing from our lives.

This will include items with holes, missing buttons, sizes that do not fit and dress clothing which we have only worn a few times and hang in the closet.

There is no room in a tent for this junk so out it goes.

Holy Smokes Folks!

We have decided to Live the Dream and move out of our 1425 sq. ft. home to save for our own lot of land. While super exciting, I'm totally terrified. Not just because the scope of the work required to move out of our rental house of 11 years, but due to the reality of living an off-grid life-style which shall embody all we truly believe in.

But to the terrified parts. As a kid, we were very insecure financially. Single mom, often gone working, men friends usually staying until a problem became apparent, usually an erratic work ethic. Move on past the psychobabble to the root of the problem. Transient people, housing and things is a way of living but not of comfort and success.

So with that said, it makes logical sense that I am afraid of moving to a mobile structure now. My age, my health, my comforts of slacking all are composed of living in my house now. What happens when I have to use the Bodum and not an electric coffee pot? Honestly, I used it last when I went camping last and its no big deal, until I don't have stove fuel and bum coffee off our camping neighbors. So is it the stuff of comfort and convenience I'll miss or is it letting the item go from my hands?

My LTR had the opposite of my experience above, so he has had the hassle of deprogramming this 3-year desire to move behavior out of me best he has been able. BUT his need for rooting means he Hoards like  Mr. Sanford. Whenever I suggest culling or selling something, he clutches his chest and acts like he's mortified I would say such a thing. Doesn't everybody need a 1924 belt-driven air compressor?

Today the prep and purge begins in earnest. We are going to move to our friend's house in a tent for a while. this could be a horrible error but I don't think so. We shall do updates as we go.